It’s
been pretty while since I have posted anything, well ……….…what I wanted to say
was………..forget it………never mind!
This
beginning is not going to look good, but when I momentarily look at my CV the
first thing I notice is work exp, and it reminds me of the whole time away from
my parents & hometown.
To
be honest being sentimental is completely out of my character. But well …………you
see………..I have never been at ease while expressing anything related to emotions
or sentiments, But as of now I’m missing my parents a lot, and even Hyderabad to
some extent. I’m very very bad at
expressing emotions especially in front of them.
As
it looked straightforward to put it down on the piece of MS word (Convenient to type than writing on a piece
of paper) so I just started.
Most
of us are aware about a universal conception OR misconception that guys doesn’t
cry OR hardly cry about sentimental stuff, however at this very instant I’m
getting tears after a long time, and the truth is I’m feeling alone now. I don’t
even remember the last time I cried for any physical wound, but this time it
seems a bit painful inside being away from family.
I've been particularly close with my mother
and well it’s understood how the father-son relation is……hardly any words are
said, silent treatment with each other, and always a formal greeting, But I
know they had worked hard, cared, loves me a lot, they have tried to give
everything they could.
If
I remember during my entire high school years, I wished could just be away from
them, free to be myself, unrestricted, the way I want myself to be.
But
I was wrong, completely wrong……I guess I was super big idiot at that time.
Now
you might be thinking that I’m not the first person to experience this, and
there are many who have faced this situation before me. May be, But
currently I’m facing it or should I say I’m feeling bit lonely…too dramatic, isn’t it? When you are living away from your parents,
you will discover exactly what and how much they have done for you, no matter
what you think about them now. I
guarantee it. No matter how rocky your relationship with your parents is, that
first time you are alone, right after they hug you when you leave, there will
be an ache in your chest, an ache so heavy and miserable that you'll be tempted
to claw your heart out. And keep it in a safe box to not get bothered
For
some of you, this may be difficult to believe. In fact, it might just sound
flat-out ridiculous. It will sound trite and hackneyed because so many people
have preached it to you before. You've convinced yourself, I won't be like
that. I won't yearn for my parents once I'm out of their grasp, but of course
-- until you've actually parted from them, of course -- you will be thinking
that.
I
know, you don't get along with them most of the time. I know sometimes your dad
raises his voice too loudly and your mom is always hypercritical... and not to
mention hypocritical. I know it's unfair that your curfew is way earlier and
your texting plan is way lower than anyone else. I know your parents have
said hurtful things to you before, and often act immaturely, in very
un-parental ways.
When you are away from your
parents for the first time, you will realize your parent’s value in your life.
They
may be adults, they may make mistakes. They are not perfect all the time, and
like you, they never will be. But remember, they tried and trying their best
for you all the time. They are giving their 100 percent and this too, I
guarantee
They
are embarrassing, annoying, impossible to please sometimes, and lately, really,
really moody, but like I said, they're trying. They are trying so hard. Don't
forget this.
Who
was he, some philosopher, not able to recollect his name (feeling lazy to google), “God is not always present with you, so
he created mother”. And she is the only person in the entire universe who will
ever ask you if you've had enough to eat and if you'd like second helpings. And
father’s no matter what sort of dumb toy you want at the EOD….damn corporate mail
writing, I mean at the “end of the day” that toy would be in your tiny hands. (I
used to be stubborn for G.I JOE toys every year).
For
the first time, I felt, I’m on my own, I wasn't as happy as I anticipated I
would be. I actually missed my dad and missed my mom -- two
people I'd never even considered missing before -- and tremors ran down my
entire spine. At one point I was arranging groceries in my new fridge, and then after finished my experimental
cooking, I noticed that the taste of the food never reaches to the level how my
mom cooks, not even not equal to my sis-in-law, I guess I should admit it
tasted worse than how my brother cooks. Yet funny part is some of my colleagues
said I was not a bad cook.
Some
of us might be waiting for this kind of life where no one nagging at you to
clean your room, make your bed, or forcing you to eat bitter-gourd curry when
you've clearly declared yourself to be an Anti-bitter gourd. No one will burst into your room without
knocking and no one will get angry with you for talking back. No one will set
you a curfew and no one will do your laundry. No one will cook for you, run
your groceries, or provide you with cash whenever you need it.
I
was an Idiot and like me many out are also idiots
For
the first time, think when you are alone.
The
sleeping on your mom’s lap is more comforting than on this hotel bed.
The things you discover when you
are away from your parents will make you appreciate them more than you have
ever before.
The
pain of separation can go far beyond simply missing your mom & dad after we’re
gone. Some parents feel a very real sense of grief and loss; a lack of purpose
or control. Because having us leave home to go to another city/country for job
or studies is regarded as a measure of success – a sign that you are prepared to
face the world – the downsides are often not adequately acknowledged. Parents
are told dismissively to buck up, get a hobby or a cat and start seeing friends
more – but "empty nest syndrome" can hard to cope with.
A
myth that surrounds empty nest syndrome is that it is only applicable to
stay-at-home mothers, who have shaped their life around the nurturing of their
children. In reality, it can affect any kind of parent, whether they have a
separate career or not.
OK
then…I should stop as the thoughts will keep floating till dawn.
Being
a parent is not an easy task especially when the younger one is the most
troublesome, a never ending faith and
unconditional love.
P.S: Hard
even to imagine when we will be at their position in future, maybe I understand a little of it.
